the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
