Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
