Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
