Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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