you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
