I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
