kristin has been a bad kristin
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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