I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
