I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
