How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
