i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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