I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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