So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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