You can't special order awesome
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
