mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We are all done wearing pants today
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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