I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
