i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
