i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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