College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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