i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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