They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
