I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
