the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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