woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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