Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i came on her dog
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
