WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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