so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
