I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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