I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
