I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
