You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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