I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
