just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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