I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
