No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
