Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
