If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
