My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
