Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
