Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mom said you looked used
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
