I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
