Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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