can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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