I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
