big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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