I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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