I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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