I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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