Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
