So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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